Expectation

Burning desire to be or do something gives us staying power - a reason to get up every morning or to pick ourselves up and start in again after a disappointment. -Marsha Sinetar

Recently, I've felt the stabbing little jabbings of disappointment, due to a situation that did not turn out the way I imagined it would. But, then again, the key word here is expectation; MY expectation at that. The world is not written, it's experienced. It's felt, ridden, tasted, touched, and melded. It is beautifully raw and unpredictable and can not be bent to one person's will.

Here's what I take from this, it's okay to recognize the fact that you're disappointed for whatever reason. If you can realize that you have these expectations and admit that you feel like you've been let down by yourself or outside circumstances, this knowing, opens the doorway for you to begin to accept and let go of what you "thought" was going to happen. This process is not easy, especially for me, but whenever I have that epiphany of such a simple thing, "Oh, I'm having the feeling of being upset, wow I feel really disappointed." it serves to remind me that it is simple, and that I'm okay. I AM OKAY.

In the end, the best possible thing for you can be the unknown, the unwritten. So, love the disappointment, thank it for the lesson, and then set it to flight amongst the ruins of things that no longer serve you. Imagine what else is waiting in this riotous, buoyant universe, waiting patiently for you to look up, down, forward, any direction but back. Find your burning desires and manifest them, free from expectation, free from restriction. Burn on!

Forgiveness

“Forgiveness softens the hardening of the heart and so renews openness. It is not meant as a process that allows the same thing to happen again, but it will allow greater awareness to evolve in situations that have gone awry. It allows us to unhook the energy from the negative past and free it up for a more positive future.” -Anodea Judith

It is almost as hard for me to forgive others as it is to forgive myself.  In this moment, I'm trying to find the ever flowing strength of my core, to disseminate the vast galaxy of rainbow emotions that are rioting inside of my chest and belly. It's so easy to identify with those feelings, to make them who I am instead of what I have. Changing one word can allow you to step back, take stock, and possibly even find where these feelings reside. I have anger, I have sadness, I have feelings of insecurity. I am not, any of those emotions. Spirit is so different from that. When I step into me, into the soul, I have feelings of buoyancy that allow relaxation and energy flow. I still feel the shaky riot, but it has been lessened with the truth, that I am not my emotions.

I can feel the babbling brook of my mind redundantly running. My essence is comprised of the cold stones beneath the water. I let it run out, and down, fired by all that I hold true, decompressed, layer by sweet layer, respected, and free, of the grasping shape of fear and ego.

Are you holding a space of freedom to, or freedom from whatever has come into your life?